nagsinungaling na naman ako.

sa mga araw na hindi ako nag post, partly true lang na i didn't have much to say.

ang totoo. i was fighting with the inner demon in me. yung demon na nagsasabing my project mates are far better than me. yung demon na nagsasabing dapat akong maging insecure. and for a while i felt like i was losing to that demon. i was really feeling low the last few weeks (which also prompted me to cut my hair). yes, i was bothered, big time.

pero all it would take lang pala is to share what's troubling me to someone. truth is, wala sana kong sasabihan na kahit sino. kahit sa kapatid ko hindi ko sinabi sa kanya na pakiramdam ko ako ang pinakabobo sa team namin. reason 1, ayokong ipakita sa kanila na minsan na-iinsecure ako. hindi naman kasi ako ganon talaga. reason 2, umandar na naman yung feeling ko na i don't want to impose myself sa ibang tao, lalo na yung mga taong they have problems of their own to deal with. pero mahirap pala talaga yun. kelangan mo talagang magsabi kahit papaano. kahit hindi lahat, kahit hindi ganoon ka-detalyado, basta mailabas lang.

at ang importante pala sa lahat, prayer never fails. sobra.

hindi naman sa all's well with me na. but i'm coping... for now, ok na yun.