lost

That was what I felt when we were watching Lost in Translation. I went there having no clue about the movie's plot. All I knew was that two Americans were in Japan. I thought that was the whole deal. They were lost in a country where their culture is unknown to them. It wasn't.

There was more to it. It showed how the two lead characters not only in an unfamiliar environment but also in an unfamiliar life they're living. The movied showed the two having sleepless nights, not knowing what they want in their lives, realizing some things are not as they were before. They were lost. They were trying to find themselves.

It was a nice movie altogether, maybe that's why it is one of the movies nominated. It made me guess how the movie would end the whole time I was sitting in the movie house.

February

February of last year was a milestone month for me. It was on February 1 when I marched and finally graduated from college. That same month, I decided to accept a (what I thought would be only be temporary) job offer. February 26 was my first day in work, in the company that I am still working for right now.

You see, it is because of these that I am acting and feeling all sentimental all of a sudden.

Another special month coming in a few days.

Life as a student meant waking up 2 hours before I have to leave the house for school. That gives me enough time to take a bath, eat, and get dress. I get to school in 15 minutes if I take the lrt or around 30 minutes if I have a ride or I opt to take the fx.

When I get to school, it's either I drop by the bookstore, the library, the canteen, or the SC office (during my last year) before going to goks, our beloved college's building. During breaks (in between classes, or just when we don't feel like attending class), we'd just sit there at our tambayan in the lobby, doing nothing but chat. Lunch or merienda usually equates to the taco salad sold just outside our building or to the snacks sold by Simon.

And then we go to class. There are times when we try as much to understand what our prof is teaching us but to no avail, we just spent class hours doodling in our notebooks or we just copy whatever it is written on the board. Course there are also times when the discussion seems interesting enough that our attentions are hooked.

After class, our destination's usually robinson's place (more known as RP to us). On the other hand, after class or not (when we cut classes), RP's our usual alternative tambayan (next to gok's lobby of course).

A while ago, that's what we were doing, me and carrots, relieving our student days. I decided to take a day off from work. Carrots, on the other hand, had no work for the day. Went there not only for the heck of it but more so, we missed being in school. After a year of working, you'd somehow feel like you wanna be where you were before, as a student. We dropped by the library, the Aristo, the canteen (had teasers and ice cream), goks, and the computer lab. Went with kulit to attend her LINALGE class (nothing's changed, we were still bored to death just listening to subspaces and subsets being talked about). Proceeded to RP to watch a movie and shop.

What have I realized today? That some stuff/scenarios are still the same, some have changed. What do I expect anyway, right? One thing remains. I've always thought life in college was fun. I guess, it still is.

Woot!

location: Aristo
carrots: misty, para tayong turista!

location: computer lab
me: alangya, parang bumisita lang tayo dito para mag-internet a.

Me and carrots are in lasalle right now. What's the deal?? Post about it later!

new journal up. (see link on the left side)

thought i'd keep it plain and simple.

Everything in this blog is nonsense. Content-wise, there is nothing but silly accounts of my boring life, and sometimes commentaries on things that interest me. Rarely do I write about serious stuff. And why not? My sole reason for having this journal before was so I could have a venue to express myself. I have always wanted to be a writer. It really wasn't a "dream" but I silently hoped that I'll eventually be able to write well. Well enough that people would notice and praise me for a piece very well-written. But no, I am not gifted with that ability. What I am only capable of is writing letters (then again, everyone knows how to write one). I am not aiming to be a good writer anymore. I have stopped having illusions that one day I'd be a Jessica Zafra (or a Bob Ong female counterpart), that is why I still keep this. Because I still want to take account of the happenings in my life, maisulat ko man ng maganda o hindi.

And although this is me you're reading about, there's a certain part of me I haven't talked/written as much as I should have. You read about people important and dear to me, but I haven't talked/written about the One dearest and most important to me above all. That troubles me. How can I write about me and then not write about Him? So, apart from this journal, I'm starting a new one. One that has nothing but me and my faith and Him of course. With this new journal, I only have 4 things in mind: (1) that I may become a better Christian (in the truest sense of the word), (2) that I be closer to Him, (3) that people like me, struggling and all, may find their way in there and be able to help them even in a small way, and (4) that may He be glorified in each of my posts.

I'm not gonna dwell on it anymore.

Last edited: 13:22
to kulit, carrots, ja, debz, jun, shmuck: *hugs*

sigh... kung mukhang masama loob ko sa huling post ko. oo, masama loob ko.

i may not be the nicest person around, pero hindi rin naman ako yung tipo ng tao na naghahanap ng gulo at away. sa sobrang pagiging aanga-anga ko na nga minsan, kaya tuloy nakakakaya-kaya na lang ako.

i don't deserve that.

good thing i have my sister with me. kahit pano, parang na-eease sama ng loob ko by merely holding her hand.

and yung thought na anjan mga friends ko na i know kung hindi ko man kayang mag-mura ay sila na ang mag-mmura para sa kin.

i hate the girl and her boyfriend (kahit hindi alam nung boyfriend ang pinaggagagawa ng gf nya).

babae ka pa naman, ang malisyoso mo!!!

Basta ang alam ko, I'm minding my own business. Wala akong paki-alam sa kanilang dalawa. Nananahimik ako, wag syang gaganon ganon at hindi ko sya papatulan. I won't stoop down to her level. 'Wag nya lang akong i-provoke dahil talagang d ko sya uurungan pag nagkataon. Sino kayang mas kakampihan ng mga tao kung nabasa nila mga message nya sa kin.

Gusto ko syang murahin, sampalin at sabunutan, pero d ko gagawin yun. May pinag-aralan ako e. Kala ko sya meron din.

quick post

greeting cards (90% Christmas, 10% birthday) and few letters from hs

My sister found some cards addressed to me among her things. Spent more than 2 hours re-arranging them to fit in that box there pero parang wala pa rin akong naaayos.

*me thinks malabo ang pic

unproductive day

*waits impatiently for project specs to come*

from pex:

What's the last book you've bought, and for how much?
Smaller and Smaller Circles - Php120.00 - very good read i must say. go read this article.

What are you reading tonight?
A chapter of Purpose Driven Life. Bible. And a toss coin between Three Junes or The King of Torts.

Best CHIC LIT
So far, I love Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic series plus Can You Keep a Secret, and The Devil Wears Prada.

Books I Intend To Read
The Great Gatsby
The Da Vinci Code
The Bleachers
The Last Juror(John Grisham's latest novel)

from WHERE do you BUY MOST of your books?
where else?

people have been "google-ing" rainbow southborder lyrics these days.

para sa mga taong nangangailangan ng lyrics nito: click here

Got to prove two things last Valentine's week, that (1)I am not romantic, (2)I tend to be unfair, and (3)I still prefer to be unattached than be in a relationship.

*my status now in friendster reads: in a relationship. haha. just to be on a really really safe side.

Dreamt of me, kulit and carrots this morning. We were inside a cab when the driver noticed a car trailing us. Two men came down from that car and ordered us to get out. These guys wanted to kidnap us. Since I usually do not remember my dreams as vividly as I want to, I missed the part how we ended up compromising with the kidnappers. The three of us had to race on who gets to be freed (eto nakakatawa and malabo). Guess who always ended up the last during the race after three tries. Tsk.

I didn't get to finish it. I was a little shaken when I woke up, guess I was worried what that dream meant.

*is paranoid

been using my sister's phone without her knowledge. hehe [insert wicked grin]

that's me, carrots, kulit (hidden), and cheekz last december

rediscovering pex

i used to browse here when i was in college, in our computer labs just so i could kill time and sometimes when i needed a break doing a "machine project" as we would term it.

i used to spend countless hours reading other people's thoughts and sharing my two cents' worth.

and then i got busy and forgot all about it.

now, i'm here and got nothing better to do. waiting for the qa to finish "regression testing" on our system which is due for delivery tom/today. we, as developers, have to be on their beck and call once they find a "bug" so that we could immediately fix it. what we're doing now is anticipating their go signal. go, meaning, there are no more bugs open and they have already verified that bugs found are fixed. today will be the end of our 5-month web-based project. sounds like a good news eh? not! 'cause 2 weeks before this deadline, there is already a new project waiting for all 6 of us members. another "web framework" to study. There's the added task of translating the "specs" because the specs will be coming in in Japanese. i find myself digressing once again. so there, i don't think i have any more sites to visit that's why i decided to check on pex. and voila, it's still one of the message boards that i like. i guess it's much better than spending my time playing 2 chess games and billiards all at the same time on my pc (which is just what my seatmate here is doing as of this writing LOL).

got the idea from her

remove all my mp3s except these ones:

[1]Duvet - BoA
I am falling. I am fading I am drowning, help me to breathe. I am hurting. I have lost it all. I am losing, help me to breathe
Expect me to play this non-stop when I am dejected. There's just something with sad songs that make u want to hear them when you are at your dispirited state.

[2]Waiting in Vain - Annie Lennox
I don't wanna wait in vain for your love.
Not only because I love Serendipity but, it was one of the songs that best described how i felt 2 years ago.

[3]Smile - Tamia
Put a smile on my face. And if anyone asks me. Everything is okay. I'm laughing cause no one. Knows the joke is on me.
An "I-can-relate" song.

[4]Gising Na - Parokya ni Edgar
kanina pa kita pinagmamasdan. kanina pa kita tahimik na binabantayan. hindi gumagalaw, hanggang wala ang araw. sadyang nakatanga, nakatitig lang sa iyong mukha.
'Cause I'm still waiting for that someone who can do something as sweet as this.

[5]Crying Like A Church on Monday - New Radicals
Praying for these feelings to go away. So do me a favor baby. Put down your new god. And love me like Sunday again.
Dig how Greg Alexander wrote those words. One of my all-time faves.

[6]Can We Still Be Friends - Mandy Moore
Things are not always what they seem.
I love Mandy Moore (in case you haven't figured that out yet) and I like her version of this song.

[7]Neighborhood - Vonda Shepard
And all those friends. Where did they go, I don't know. All those friends we used to know. In the neighborhood.
One of those songs that gets to me.

[8]Love's Divine - Seal
No particular words I like. I just love the song as it is.

[9]Han (Grudge) - Fly to the Sky
Loved it (and almost all of their songs in their Missing You album) the first time I heard it albeit not understanding a single word they're saying. It's korean and I still haven't had the luck of finding the lyrics.

[10]Out of Reach - Gabrielle
knew the signs wasn't right. i was stupid for a while. swept away by you. and now i feel like a fool. so confused. my heart's bruised. was i ever loved by you.
A constant reminder for me not to be stupid again.

[11]Hanabi - Ayumi Hamasaki
Whenever I'm sad I have a habit of saying I'm ok.
(Not sure if that's what she's saying). One of the two jpop songs I don't get tired listening to.

[12]Beside You - Akafellas
Some people say they see lovers inside us. But that don't really matter to me. I just close my eyes. And I listen to the song my heart keeps on singing now.
Very pleasing to the ear. And they're one talented bunch of guys.

[13]Rainbow - Southborder
Take a little time baby. See the butterflies colors. Listen to the birds that were sent. To sing for me and you. Can you feel me. This is such a wonderful place to be.
Conveys positive outlook on life. Reminds me of how beautiful life is despite all.

[14]The Remedy - Jason Mraz
I wont worry my life away.
*nods head in agreement*

[15]On A High - Duncan Sheik
if you're fine then you're fine - it's all how you see it. oh, there never will be no conspiracy of happiness
True true... but it's still easier said than done.

Can't help but laugh whenever i see that new Coke commercial. The one where the guy holding a can of coke rode the jeepney and the other passengers started to do the "coke ko 'to" thing. The look on the guy's face was hilarious!

Rainbow
SouthBorder

Fallin out, fallin in
Nothin's sure in this world, no no
Breakin out, breakin in
Never knowin what lies ahead
We can really never tell it all

Say goodbye, say hello
To a lover or friend
Sometimes we couldn't just understand
Why good things begin then just end
We can really never have it all

But/coz oh, can't you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby just/please SMILE
Coz i'm always around you
And i'll make you see
How beautiful life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be

Even if there is pain now
Everything will be alright
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

Hittin high, hittin low
Win or lose you should go
Getting warm, getting cold
Weather could be so good or bad
But baby this is life
Now don't get mad

Life's full of challenges
Not all the time we get what we want
But don't despair my dear
(And i know that) You'll take each trial
And you'll make it through the storm coz you're strong
My faith in you is clear
So i'll say once again this world is wonderful
And let us celebrate life that's so beautiful, so beautiful

the circus has officially started today.

politicians will be putting on masks, performing song and dance numbers, juggling, eating fire, etc. (uhm, so far i haven't seen any of them do the last two acts I mentioned but we'll never know).

gotta brace ourselves 'cause it's show time.

last post for the day

heard king dj logan on radio this morning:

first borns do not trust other people as much as they trust themselves. they tend to be bossy and conscientious to a fault.

:S

catching up

met with shmuck last wednesday. la lang. meet lang. kwentuhan ng konti. we really didn't have to do major catching up dahil more or less we know what's been going around us pa rin.

met with kulit, carrots, and ja last night. had dinner. eto mejo "serious" talking nangyari. not everyday that we get to do it.

talked with jerry last night.

there... not much actually when u think about it, but all these talks and meet-ups made me realize a lot of things.... importante sa lahat: that i'm blessed with people like them. sobra. :)

He has a funny way of telling me

i was texting people kagabi kasi medyo inatake na naman ako ng "kalungkutan", medyo gusto kong may kausap. texting meaning forwarding messages lang naman. ganon naman kasi ako e. umaasa na baka may sumagot at magtanong ng: "ui, musta?"

may sumagot naman. nagtanong ng "how are you". plastic kunwari, sagot ako ng: "im ok". sya, hindi sya ok lately. dahil sa masyadong matagal kung magttext-an lang kami, he decided to call na lang. eventually, i was there listening to him about how problematic he is lately.

nakakatuwa. ganon parating nangyayari e. dba minsan, may gusto ka ng i-share sa isang tao, magugulat ka na lang, pagkatapos nyong mag-usap, hindi mo rin na-i-share yung problem mo, kasi yun pala, may problema rin sya.

kung mukha mang nagrereklamo ako, on the contrary, hindi. natatawa nga ako e. kasi may sense of humor Siya. parang sinabi Niya kagabi sa akin na: "it's not always all about you, you know. " :)

ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nakakalula.

sa mga taong nakanood rin ng I-Witness kagabi, malamang sila rin, ganoon din ang reaksyon. parang barya lang sa kanila ang milyones na ginagastos nila para sa kampanya. at ang 6-billion dollar na tanong: saan nila nakuha/nakukuha ang ganong kalaking pera???