Ayumi Hamasaki - AKA "Ayu" - The Queen of
J-Pop (Japanese music). She's bigger than
Britney in Asia, and for totally different
reasons. She's talented, beautiful, honest,
writes deep and meaningful lyrics, has composed
and performed almost every kind of music in
existence, and is only 24 years old! Check her
out online at
http://groups.msn.com/Smithyssiteofstuff/ayumihamasaki.msnw


Which Japanese Pop artist would you like?
brought to you by Quizilla

good news and bad news on work

finally!!! this dreaded project closes today. there's a closing party tonight but i'm not going.

this morning, they announced who among the members of this project will be assigned to what project. i got surprised hearing my name transferred not to the project i was expecting to be joining. another project manager borrowed me (once again) from the project i'm supposed to work on since start of this month. they tell me it will only be for the month of august and that they just really need people. the same line they told me before. ugh.

i'm all for the experience and stuff, it's just that i have this 'luck' of joining a team when their project is already delayed and they have to do overnights and work on weekends to catch up.

another hellish schedule up ahead. i can't wait. *sarcastic tone*

on the brighter side, i lost weight!

what i missed last week

• watching the final episode of America's Next Top Model


• watching Zaitochi on wowow


• dinner with kulit and angela


• seeing my mom and my sister. (i didn't go home (nova) last weekend since i went home (manila) at 2 in the morning of sunday already)


• pestering my dad

sms that made my week

• i seldom ask you how you are, fail to check on you every now and then, and never make you feel special. But i will always be someone who silently cares for you despite my distance.
  >-haven't been talking with brian lately and as always, he never fails to pop up just in time. i suddenly missed him.


• uy, napanood ko na one tree hill..........
  -i know, kababawan ko na naman. it's just that i told this friend about this series and i was making kulit that he watch it as well. haha, made my day that he actually remembered about it and sms'ed me to let me know. *babaw ko talaga*

not normal

i know i'm insomniac. it's not like i haven't stayed overnight in the office before.

but to go home in the morning and/or stay overnight for more than one day in a row is not normal.

let's see. monday, i went home tuesday midnight. went to the office at regular hour. went home the next day (wednesday), 5am. slept and then came back at the office at 1pm. stayed overnight till thursday. and went home at 8pm already. 31 hours in the office! and i didn't even sleep for a single minute. came here at 1:30 in the afternoon already and here i am still working.

i know i said, i prefer to be busy. it's just my body is complaining.

oh yeah, am still working tomorrow.

never been busier

i didn't go to work last friday. i wanted to hibernate during the weekend but it turned out i only got the friday to be free. woke up afternoon and stayed in the room the whole day until it was time for me to arrange my stuff and get ready to go home to nova. watched dvds when i arrived and stayed up till wee hours of the morning.

was supposed to stay home the next day but my mom and sister wanted to go to the mall. spent the whole day at the mall eating and shopping.

the next day, after attending church service, we went to my dad's high school reunion. gah! me and my sister felt we weren't supposed to be there. anyway, i'm glad my dad had fun. they even voted him to be their president. LOL. (tama bang mag-election pa rin?). went home in time to catch TAR5. took a nap. woke up to watch OTH's 3rd replay for the week (exag).

and then hell week in the office now.

i feel like i don't have free days anymore. i have mondays to fridays at work. sometimes even on saturdays. sundays, we attend service (me and my sister together in a Christian fellowship, my dad and mom in a Catholic church) and afterwards eat and go to the mall. i don't have time to enjoy the comfort of bumming around at home anymore.

but it's cool. i'm busy. i'm enjoying. i'm happy.

a rare appearance

i often talk about her but the only picture i've posted that has her is that picture where we were holding hands. anyway, this is her, in one of her rare vanity moments (syempre andito pa rin ako, haha). she'll probably kill me if she finds out i posted it here. LOL

my alter_ego

paranoid me

I woke up really really shaken yesterday morning. I had to SMS my sister and the girls with this message: I just had this crazy dream that we (me and my sister) are both pregnant because of a one night stand. It scared the hell out of me.

All of them must have laughed at me when they read that. But when I said it scared me, I wasn't exaggerating. The dream felt so real. The only weird thing about it is that my parents and my sister's reactions weren't what i expected. My sister was happy. My mom and dad were nonchalant. I, on the other hand, was devastated.

I do not know what is it with me that I've been having freaky and scary dreams lately. First, I dreamt that my dad passed away. Second, I dreamt that I and a friend were in this place being attacked by bombs (whatever, I forgot how it went. all i know is there were bombs being thrown everywhere and we were running for our lives). Coincidentally, it was that same day when something happened at the mrt. And then this.

Must be my fears creeping on me. Or it could just be too much Sex and the City reruns.

(yet another) post-wedding entry

i know i know. it has been days since ja and nc's nuptial. i'm not sure if it's understandable that i'm still posting about it. i guess it's just one eventful experience not only for me but for all five of us. anyway, kulit's post couldn't have said all our feelings (and what we went through) any better.

a few things i learned (and realized) that two days, friday and saturday.

1. it is not convenient to go around makati by car, especially on a friday night
Our ever dependable angela booked us days ago at tips and toes to have our manicures and pedicures done on friday night. She scheduled kulit and carrots for the 7pm time slot, while we had the 7:15 schedule. Original plan was for me to drop by at angela's office so we'd together. We know how traffic it can be during fridays but what we didn't know was that we'd spend almost an hour and a half just to get to greenbelt (to think that we came from valero, makati). Angela and I really thought we're not gonna get there in time and we were still looking for a place to park at around 8:20 or 8:30. When we finally arrived, both kulit and carrots had this finally-you-arrived look.

2. when you're hungry, anything you put in your mouth will taste really good
We decided to drop by at the hotel where ja was staying as soon as we had our nails done. While kulit and carrots already ate hours ago, me and angela were really hungry the moment we stepped in the hotel but chose to grab a bite afterwards. When we got to the resto nearby, I'm not sure if i really liked the crepe that I ordered, all I know is I had to obey my growling stomach.
Same thing happened during the reception on Saturday. The four of us didn't have breakfast that morning. No, wait. We did. We had instant noodles and that was it. No more lunch nor merienda for us.

3. it's impossible to sleep when you're sleeping with kulit and i
Kulit, carrots and i were to sleep at angela's room, while angela slept with her mom. Carrots was already sleeping at around 12 (or was it 1 already?) midnight. Kulit and I were still busy doing nonsense stuff when we started bugging carrots, she eventually woke up to our satisfaction haha.

4. we know each other well
Our hair and make up was scheduled at 10am. We arrived at fix podium on time. The personnel lacked one guy so i had to wait for one to be free before i got to be made up. We were supposed to leave at angela's place by 1pm so that we'd arrive at the church by 2 (as angela promised ja) since wedding starts at 2:30. 1pm and the guy was still doing final touches on my make-up. Gah. We left the place almost 1:30 already and you could just imagine how we were panicking already. Angela's mom (who drove for us the whole day) asked: what time's the wedding? 4? And we were like: Nde po. 2:30. LOL. When we got there, we were relieved to see that the wedding hasn't started yet. Turned out the ceremony starts at 3pm. Ja knew how we can be late at times and she foresaw that, if not, there'd probably be no bridesmaids walking down the aisle.

5. the most touching part of weddings is when the dad gives his speech
Especially when the bride is really close to her dad. Enough said.

6. we are growing up
good thing is, i'm growing up with these girls by my side. I think the girls have become more closer than ever.

the bride and the bridesmaids


L-R: carrots, me, ja, angela, kulit

other pictures here

THE DAY

It was an unbelievable 2 days for us 4 girls (most stressful for one of us though). I actually just got home and am pooped and sleepy but I wanted to share about this for such a long time that I can't wait no more. One of the girls officially started a new chapter of her life today, July 10, 2004. And although we (the other girls) think we'll need time to get used to the idea - that she is no longer addressed as ms. cuaresma but as mrs. herrera now, we wish you two nothing but the best. As in.

A big big CONGRATULATIONS to you ja and nc!!!

*i'm gonna post pictures next time, i'll have to wait for copies from carrots and angela. plus an entry about tying the knot will come next time as well.

• wala pa kong nagagawa sa office mula dumating ako dito. lagot.



• tama bang sabihan ako ng kapatid ko na dapat nanood na lang daw sana ako ng cinemanila movie instead yung prince and me? bakit ba? e maka-julia stiles ako. i like her, i like her, i like her. i know she doesn't have the prettiest face in hollywood (but she's pretty in her own way)pero naman, she's got character. plus, if you see all her movies, naku, kahit sabihin mong teenage movies yung marami, yung mga roles naman nya e d yung mababaw. plus she's got the brains to go with her talents. galing...



• in reference to what kenneth said to me last night, i have a better word for him. passionate. yan, hahaha. whatever.



• people in china can't access blogspot journals pala. bakit???



• hah! overnight with the girls tonight!!!

sabi na naman ni kenneth sa kin: yan nanaman dyan mu nanaman binubuhos nagiging obsessed ka na sa lahat ng bagay..

ahaha LOL

work

things will seem to be brighter for me after this month (and if sched's work out, it could even be as early as middle of this month).

see, some informed me last may (about the time our project was about to be released already) that i will soon be assigned to this other project. and when i learned about it, i wasn't all too happy about it. it didn't matter if this new project is a big one. it's just that i don't think i can work for their project leader and second, i'd be joining a project that already started out months ago and i guess i kinda doubted my capabilities (again) and that i won't be able to give what they would expect from me.

i can't really do anything but work for them anyway. what right do i have to tell the people that i want to be in this certain project instead of this?

so i started last june and i'm not liking it more and more each day.

and then one of them bosses talked to me the other night, and again another one just a while ago. they're gonna pull me out of this project already 'cause there are new projects that really need people. there are actually two project leaders asking for me (haha ang kapal ko!) but the other project leader beat the other one to it (honestly... buti na lang!). i'm not sure but i think i'll not work as a developer but as a technical leader as well (ok wait, parang d na yun makatotohanan).

all in all, this would probably the best news i've heard in days.

Someone very important is celebrating his birthday today.

Because of this, I wanted to write a piece about him. But while I have a lot, (and i mean, A LOT) of things to say, I am stumped as to where and how to start.

I want to tell about how sad his life story was and how it could give all the teleserye's a run for their money. About how at the age of 9, he had to work his ass off working as a "bote-garapa" boy to a gasoline boy to a barker to a shoeshine boy (there were more menial work he did) to fend for himself and his family. About how it broke him apart seeing his mom hurt by his dad's "extra-curricular activities" and how one day he arrived home to see his mother lying lifeless (she was just 30+ at that time). About how grief-stricken he was when his youngest brother soon followed her mom. About how his aunt took him and his siblings under her care but life still didn't come any easier for him. About how he got to finish high school and started with college, only he eventually had to stop 'cause he chose to be a full-time employee.

I want to tell how people have the wrong impression of him at times. They think he's shy and timid, and that he's too serious. Or that he's a snob. But that's just what they are, impressions of him. What they don't see is how he can strike up a conversation with any one he meets on the streets. A few thought him as a coward before. Some were suggesting years back that he go abroad and earn his living there. Instead, he opted not to for the very reason that he didn't want to be separated from his family. Some wanted him to start his own hardware company since he already knows the ins and outs of the business. He didn't listen to that one either (and up until now, he still works for the same company he entered 30 plus years ago). Back then, I couldn't comprehend his reason for not considering that idea. I then realized later on that he wasn't afraid to be considered as someone "na may mahinang loob" or someone who didn't want to take a risk, he was more afraid of his kids' future. He'd rather that he work for other people for the meantime as long as he has enough for his family's needs (and just so people know, it is a no-no for him to borrow money from anyone - not because of pride or anything. he just believes that to borrow money means you're living beyond your means).

I want to tell about how he influenced and taughts us many things. He was the one who instilled in his kids the love of books. His daughters were reading Funny comics at age 3 and moved to Archie comics before hitting the age of 4. He was the one who introduced them to Nancy Drew and to John Grisham and to Erich Segal (and a whole lot more). He spoiled his children to the max. He said he wanted them to be not left wanting (the exact feeling he had during his childhood). He taught his children how to discuss things not centered on only one topic. He may not have finished school, or that he may not be a professional right now, but proved to everyone that grades and titles do not matter.

I want to tell of how he can be irritating at times. He can be controlling and too paranoid for his own and his family's good. One incident was when he found out that his youngest daughter went to join one of the EDSA rallies. He left the office as soon as he learned of it and went straight to Ortigas/Edsa to look for her. He went around on foot, looking hard for where she was in that crowd. That time I thought he was over-reacting. But again, I thought of how he must have felt and that's when I understood why he did that.

I want to tell her how her eldest daughter wouldn't sleep unless she was cradled in her father's arms. About how many times she has disappointed him and but remained to be the most forgiving father she knows. About how she regrets to have not graduated with honors in college, that would have made him feel mighty proud of her. Just the same, he is proud of both her children, i know that for a fact. I think that he believes that he may not be the richest man alive, but he sure does have other riches to be proud of. And he has nothing to thank for but the Lord and himself. After all, it was he (and his wife) who planted the seed.

I want to tell more of him. But words wouldn't do justice for what he has done and what he has been and is to me and my mom and my sister.

I may not need him to lull me to sleep anymore. But I need to pester and bug him and make him "kulit" (until he shoos me away as if i'm an insect) at night before i can say it is complete. I still sleep with him at night during weekdays (it's only us during weekdays after all, remember?). Sometimes I look at him while he's sleeping. And I am overwhelmed at the thought that there's this someone who pampered us, cared for us, and loved us unconditionally for many years. I am reminded of how the Lord has blessed me truly to have not only the best dad in this world but the best mom and sister anyone could ask for. To say that my family is the most important thing in my life (next to HIM) is really an understatement. I love them so much and They are my life.

Why do I wanted to write a piece about him? Because this is my blog and I am talking about me. And looking at me and who I am now, I can never disregard the fact that it is he (and my mom and my sister still) who made me.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DAD!

i admit to being a chismosa. the entertainment section's the first thing i read when i get hold of a newspaper. i watch showbiz talk shows during weekends (can get pretty nauseating at times though).

and so when i stumbled into celebrity blogs, it was my being chismosa at first that hooked me into reading them. but now, i keep coming back to ala paredes', or bianca gonzales', or maxene magalona's, or paula peralejo's blogs not because they're celebrities but because it is through these journal's that they let people know what's on their minds (and some of them really has interesting thoughts to share). that they happen to be seen on tv and they sometimes talk about tv stuff is just an icing on the cake.

i

don't like conforming. you can't influence me to watch something that i don't want to watch, even if it means that i'm the only one left who hasn't seen the movie yet.

am most of the time dependent on people but am emotionally independent. that would probably be my number one contradiction.

lose interest on stuff at times not only because i have short attention span but also because i hate it when almost everyone likes them as well. (i claim ownership at times although i know i don't have the right).

practice delayed gratification - from eating to buying stuff to other matters. i always save the best for last.

now admit i am close-minded. me and my sister realized that it can never happen. 'it' being the two of us being open-minded, especially if we believe too much on the teachings of our 'religion'.

music and movies stuff

• i didn't know kirsten dunst sings. i like her dream of me though. really fits the peter and mj love story.



• i was tuning in to 89.9 whole day yesterday in the office (using my mini-fm radio and not online). at around 6 in the evening, most of my officemates went out to have dinner. the only ones left in our area was me and one of my crushes. i decided to remove one of my earphones just so i make sure i keep my voice down since i'm singing along with the songs. and then i hear faint sounds of someone singing with me. turned out he was also listening to the same radio station. wala lang. kakatuwa. (and on that note, we seem to be thinking of the same things these past few days).



• while walking on my way home, still with my radio on, and i can't almost hear anything from it - music was drowned by the noise around. Sobra na noise pollution!



• i can't remember the last movie i've seen in the theater. i missed watching harry potter 3 with the girls. same goes with spiderman 2 last wednesday night (i just joined them for dinner).



• there are two movies that i really wanna see that's coming out at the same time next week. and then cinemanila opened yesterday as well (which was supposed to start last june 25th). i wonder how we can come up with a schedule for this week to watch all the movies that i wanna see.

  kulit, i know we're really swamped next week, but we need to 'talk'.



• we really can't serve two masters at the same time huh? there are day/weeks when i listen to nothing but kpop (or jpop or cantopop for that matter) and be totally focused on them that i get outdated with the new songs coming out on the radio lately. and vice versa. same thing with movies.



• i haven't been watching mtv for months. cool!



• is that a let's wait a while revival i jut heard? (i didn't get the title and the artist). i hope it's not. maybe they just used the melody.