mixed emotions

not sure, not sure if i can really relax and enjoy....

today's a friday the 13th

for me, it seems.

first, i woke up to a rainy morning (and you know how much i dislike rainy days). then, i got stuck in traffic causing me to be late for 30 minutes. aside from the salary deduction, it also means i will have to render OTY (our term for ot work without pay) because since i am about to go on a break, i have to finish my module before friday (meaning, tomorrow).

since we're talking about work here. no, i will not be able to beat tomorrow's deadline. (the only consolation is that both my sublead and pm are kind enough to do something for me just so i will be allowed to take my leave). problem is, i wonder if i will be able to relax and enjoy knowing that i have pending tasks.

it doesn't help that my skin's breaking out. i have pimples all over my forehead and i hate it ('cause everyone keeps on noticing!). ok ok, this seems to be shallow.

anyway, the worst part of the day was hearing from my siobe that papa got swindled. he lost this certain amount because someone ordered something and paid him with a bouncing cheque. what's saddening is not just the money lost but the fact that in his 30+ years of working, this was the very first time someone conned him. i guess he was lucky in that way but still... he says it was his own fault also because he didn't do a background check. sigh. i cried the first time i heard it from siobe because i don't know, i just don't like my papa getting disappointed and worrying. i can almost imagine him now, probably with a long face (and no joke or kulit from me would do).

T_T

sigh

i know saying sorry and actually meaning it isn't as easy as it sounds.

but to say thank you... now that would probably be the easiest thing to do, right? but it makes me ask, how come *some* people seem to find it difficult to say those words? weren't they taught when they were young to say their thanks?

bsb's back?

i admit to being a boyband fan.

i was a die-hard backstreet boys fan and pretty much adored nick carter (same time i was super crushing on grant hill and devon sawa). i guess back in high school, girls were allowed the liberty to like boybands (and guys, the liberty to say that nick is gay). eventually as one grows older, you either get to outgrow (and realize that it's true, some/most of the members of these boybands cannot even carry a tune and they're just using their looks to charm their way to fame - not that it's not working) them or not.

soon after bsb looked boys no more, their appeal for me started to dwindle. i didn't care if they had a new single or album out. i wasn't into them anymore.

when i saw in the newspapers that they were having a concert here, i was sceptical. i was wondering if they still have fans from here. would there be an audience going ga-ga for them? but days before the concert, i started reading some bloggers' posts admitting that they do want to watch the concert. i was even more surprised when i learned that there were officemates and acquaintances of mine who did go out to see them.

i don't know. it's just... weird? i don't really know the exact word to describe my reaction. lol.

ah... but they did had a number of good songs to their name for me. and i don't regret having most of their albums in my collection. :D

toys

I just realized that lately, when I see mobile phones around, my interest lies not on the model but on the strap/s hanging on their phones (if they have any). My keitai straps fascination has led me to this collection:



I know at one point I'd grow tired of this, but right now... i pretty much enjoy looking at others keitai straps and scouting for cute ones for myself. ;)

----------

Siobe just bought herself this baby



with her savings from her part-time work (and i'm supposed to be the techie one). Now, instead of the younger sister borrowing from her older sister, it's the other way around. :D

Resolutions Update

3rd month of the new year and I check how I am doing with my new year's resolutions.

Regarding working overtime. So far, I've only stayed till 12am in the office twice so that's an improvement.

Regarding losing my tummy. No luck here (shmuck, there is a tummy there, i kid you not).

Regarding saving more. This is a major uh-oh as it seems money's been flowing out of my pockets so easily lately. (Even my siobe has found something to spend for and I am quite envious now.)

Regarding other stuff... I'll have to check again.

Post Holiday Musings

- The Christmas spirit seemed like it was nowhere to be found last 25th for most. I heard it from some people I knew, and then I read it from blogs and articles in the newspapers - they all had one thing to say: they couldn't feel Christmas. I really don't know how to react and feel about that. I guess our views on things do change as we grow older.

- I was looking forward to watching Christmas specials on tv but i only got disappointed. The only special we got to see was this musical. I don't know if we just didn't know what channel to look or there really wasn't that much specials aired.

- I spent most of my day of 31st was spent in the kitchen with my mom and sister preparing for new year's eve and for the next day's guests. Thus, at 2 in the morning of January 1st, i was feeling exhausted, full, accomplished, and giddy all at the same time.

- I know i shouldn't wait for January 1 if i want to improve myself but start of a new year is like we have this clean slate to start things anew. And unlike last year, i'm gonna list down my resolutions for this year (most, if not are general) and hopefully i get to fulfill it not only throughout 2006:
1. Fall deeply in love ---- with God. My siobe received this sms that said it best: Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, falling in love in a quite, absolute way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you'll do with your evenings, how you'll spend your weekends, what you read, what you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.

2. Give more and expect less.

3. Be more thankful and complain less.

4. Save more and spend less.

5. Work not more than 11 or 12 hours daily so that (1) I can spend time with family and friends (i want to be really there for them), (2) I can have time to try out new things, (3) I can do chores at home, and (4) I won't get too stressed out often.

6. Lose my tummy.