Watch and Be Troubled

I can never be a film critic because I know nothing about the history or techniques of filmmaking. Not that I aspire to be one.

I can possibly be a film reviewer though. Most of us probably can. Then again, maybe not. To write/speak of what the film was about and who were in it is easy but to tell if it was good or bad is not. To say what is good or bad is purely objective. Most of the time I find myself concluding that what I recently watched was a good movie only to find out that most professional critics and reviewers say otherwise because they obviously know more than me.

But again, why bother? I'm not paid to write critics or reviews anyway. I'm here to watch and enjoy these movies and maybe eventually I will develop a better judgment of a movie's worth.

So last night, refusing not to miss out on the cinemanila festival, we were able to catch the one movie i was really aiming to see for the following reasons: 1) I am having HK movies withdrawal symptoms, 2) it stars one of my celebrity crushes, and (so as not to seem that my reasons are really shallow) 3) i've been hearing good comments about it since last year.

I guess after the success of Infernal Affairs, most of the HK movies (of the same genre) that have come out after will most likely be compared to it. If not, most movie producers or directors probably want to achieve (if not, to surpass) the success of IA. I don't think IA can be compared to One Nite in Mongkok though. For one, the latter doesn't only excite you, it troubles you as well. Sometimes movies are here to entertain us, to make us forget of our problems for a couple of hours. But sometimes, movies are like mirrors, they show us the real score of how life really is. Just as what one review said: If One Nite in Mongkok has a major audience deterrent, it would have to be that it's not the happiest film around. Justice is in the eye of the beholder, life holds no fairness, and there is good and bad in everyone. Evil is just a word, and people do what they have to do simply to hold onto what's dear to them.

I was thinking I shouldn't have seen it last night, not when some things have been getting to me these days (will post about it next). But heck, I haven't gotten a dvd copy yet so it was a now-or-never-moment yesterday.

Quick Fix (stress-relievers)

1. I knew I said that i'm done with other magazines, well, I lied. So for the record, I have Read, TeenVogue, and Time.

2. After 7 years of sticking with the classic 6110, i have finally found the phone that made me buy it in an instant. It's not super feature-loaded but I love it. It's not of a common mobile brand name plus it's a flip phone. I only wish I got the purple one though.

3. I don't get to see Tarzan bubblegums in supermarkets anymore, but siobe brought packs one time last week.

4. J-snacks are the best.

Still Ranting

ugh!!!

wala na ko(kami)ng social life. promise. kasi naman yung imposible pinipilit maging posible. hindi ka pa tapos sa ginagawa mo e may nakapila na agad.

wala kong balak mag holiday sa opisina a!

Work Related Rant

Eto na siguro yung pinaka-toxic na week since I started with this project (although it's still nothing compared to that cursed project last year).

Hindi mo na mapapansing gabing-gabi na dahil kahit alas-diyes o alas-onse na, mabibilang mo lang sa daliri ang mga taong nakauwi na. Minsan nga nagbibiruan na dito, pano raw kung for 100 days, dito lang kami at nagc-code (parang kasuka-suka na yun). Minsan may pabiro pang magtatanong ng bigla, "di pa ba morning meeting?" o kaya naman "anjan na kaya si aling febe (pinag-oorderan nila ng lunch) o si leo (na nagtitinda ng merienda)?"

Ok lang sa akin yung late umuwi basta't lunes hanggang huwebes lang, either para masigurado ko na by friday pwede na kong paeasy-easy at makauwi ng maaga o kaya naman para maka-catch up ako pag delayed na ko ng konti. As much as possible ayokong nagkakaroon ng delayed na status. Talagang nah-haunt ako nun. Pag gising ko sa umaga yun agad pumapasok sa isip ko. I know, dapat hindi na dinadala ang trabaho sa bahay pero... Hay.

Naiinis ako dahil bihira lang ako madelay pero talaga namang todo kulit sila kapag nadelay nga ako. Tapos ayan pa't umagang umaga, sesermonan kayo. Todo-todo pressure. Nadadala ko na ata tuloy inis ko pati sa bahay. Kagabi nga, talagang nag-snap ako ng pagbuksan ako ni papa na nakasimangot. Araw-araw na lang daw dis oras na ko umuwi. Isip-isip ko nun, para naman kasing gusto ko na late umuwi, buti sana kung galing ako sa gimik. Pero naiintindihan ko din naman sya syempre, aside from the fact na pinupuyat ko sya sa pag-aantay sa kin, gabi-gabi ko na lang siya pinag-aalala.

Siguro hindi lang kasi yung pressure galing sa kanila yung nararamdaman ko. Pine-pressure ko din kasi ata masyado sarili ko.

Hay...

Random

I had my back checked last Saturday at metropolitan. While the ortho was telling me stuff, I didn't realize I was saying "hai" instead of "ho". Mama had to tug me to remind me the doctor is chinese and not japanese.

___________________

Buti pa mga estudyante, may sembreak. Sana may sembreak din kami. Gusto ko ng break away from my module. Nade-depress na naman ako dahil ayaw pa niyang gumana.

Must Be The Weather

I've been sitting in front of the computer for an hour now. No, not surfing, just staring at the monitor.













This is pointless. I should probably just turn this thing off.

What Am I Thinking Right Now?

Off the top of my head:

If asked why I won't beat today's deadline, can I give a 'Fridays-make-me-lazy' answer? Seriously.

Who pinned this FEU No.1 newspaper article in front of my pc?

Should I go shopping or not tomorrow?

I can't wait to get home.

I probably should file my Christmas vacation leaves asap.

Why am I such a lazy ass today?

On Being Tsinoy: Common Questions Asked

Anticipating my turn as the "speaker for the day" during our daily morning meetings, I was thinking what I would talk about. True enough, last Thursday my name was drawn out from our speaker bowl. The night before I caught Oprah and it was about Chinese children being adopted by American couples. There was also a feature on the old tradition of foot-binding (you know, when it was considered attractive if women only had 3 inches sized feet). Switching channels, Pinoy Abroad host Rhea Santos was doing a feature on China as well. And then, it was around Monday or Tuesday when I finished Intsik: An Anthology of Chinese Filipino Writing. Thus, I decided to share something related to me being a Chinese Filipino.

In the Philippines, there are pure Chinese and half-Chinese. I am half-Chinese. I am both a Filipino and a Chinese, and over the years, I've come across people who have asked me (and probably many Chi-Fils out there as well) questions that most of the time I find amusing and sometimes annoying.

1. You're Chinese? (Chinese ka?)
It's usually after people hear/learn of my surname that I get this question. Why? Probably because I don't look Chinese enough, meaning I'm not yellow-complexioned and I don't have slanted/chinky eyes (if they should know, Southern Chinese are tan-colored). But there are others who can see right through and are just making sure I am one of them.

2. What percentage are you Chinese and Filipino? (Ilang percent kang Intsik at ilang percent kang Pilipino?)
Truth is, I do not know how to compute it and because of that, I have to share with them what percent Chinese or Filipino my parents are. Since I am not too sure of the correct computation as well, I have to go about telling them about my grandparents too. Eventually, they will do the computation and come up with the answer to their own question. It's one of those questions I'm not too fond of since it is non-bearing. As Alessandra G.L. Gonzales said, "I will never be truly Filipino nor truly Chinese because I am and have to be both. My fused identity has given me more beadth as a human being..... I am Filipino, I am Chinese; beyond the almond eyes and pale skin, I don't dissect which part of me is which."

3. How come you speak good Tagalog? (Bakit ok ka naman mag-Tagalog?)
I guess since most genuine Chinese locals talk in fragmented sentences ("ako trabaho maya") or in a sing-songy intonation, others think/expect us to talk the same manner. The thing is, we are not pure Chinese, we live with the Filipino community and we do stay in the Philippines. Since the lingua franca here is Filipino, we should be the ones to learn, right? Besides, we may have attended Chinese schools before, but we did learn our English and Filipino lessons in the morning and Chinese subjects were taught and learned in the afternoon.

4. Aren't you buddhist? (E di buddhist ka?)
Contrary to what many think, not all of us are buddhist. Some are practicing Catholics (but at the same time believe in Chinese gods) and some are Protestants. We too have been influenced by the Western culture as much as Filipinos are. We were taught to use chopsticks, as well as spoons and forks. We were told to drink Chinese medicines as well as aspirins. We enjoy Chinese food but we also appreciate other cuisines.

5. So you're not allowed to marry a Filipino? (E di bawal ka makapag-asawa ng Pinoy?)
This never fails to be asked. My answer to this usually depends - depends on who is asking because I sometimes use this as an excuse or a reason whenever needed. On my parents' side, I'm not really sure of their stand on this, I do know that it's not a be-all for them. As for kai-siaw or setups, elders are the usual masterminds of these.

6. What's wrong with being called Intsik? (Anong masama kung Intsik tawag?)
Speaking for myself, I am not being sensitive when I get annoyed when people use Instik instead of Chinese or Tsinoy. It sounds negative that it's like when people use this term, they're referring to us as baduy, shrewd, provincial, etc. It's actually like Filipinos being called Indio.

I do have moments when I wish I am just a pure Chinese or a pure Filipino or moments when I regret not having learned Mandarin well in school. And while it's true that even if we are Chinese Filipino, most Filipinos consider us Chinese. On the other hand, since we have Filipino blood, some Chinese look down on us because of that. Then again those aren't enough to dampen my spirit, as it is I am happy that I am of this fused identity.