after what felt like ages (part 3)

I am back in the blogging world, after what seemed like ages for me. I don't think I can break away from this blogging habit anymore, after all writing is a part of me.

Regardless, the pertinent question here is, does this mean I am ok now?

See, before I took that break, I had already planned out what I'm gonna do in that period. What I didn't see coming was depression striking me just before I took it. If that wasn't enough, paranoia followed suit. Next thing I know, I'm battling with a bad case of depression and paranoia that I had to seek help.

Why depression? There's no reason that I can pinpoint exactly, however, it's not that unusual for me. I suffer from emotional distress more than once each year (and I know there are others too). It's not because I want to jump in the bandwagon of too many young people going through this. Like I said, it's just me to get totally depressed by situations directly and (at most times) not directly concerning me. I admit to being highly emotional that it's always I'm either too blissfully happy or terribly sad, no in-betweens, just at the extremes. [almost 2 years ago, I wrote something related).

And paranoia? Look around us and tell me how can you not worry for your family and loved ones??? Senseless killings, greediness, etc. It's ug.ly and scary.

As I was saying, I was scaring myself that I had to ask for help. Help from Him and from some friends. I turned to reading the Bible and looking for assurances there. I turned to friends and asked them to pray for me (I needed prayer partners and I'm glad they're willing to be one). I turned to my sister (except my parents 'cause I don't want them worrying too). And then things start falling into their places. Only because He told me to focus my attention to nothing but Him.

In the end, I'm happy. Sincerely happy that I went through this - some sort of awakening. I've been so complacent with my faith in Him that I didn't think evil spirits could work in me and play with my mind by putting bizaare thoughts. Eventually, this made me re-affirm my Christian faith, made me closer to Him, made me want to do more for Him. I'm not saying I won't ever be in that state again but now I know better.