26

It was the 26th of February that time. I was waiting patiently inside this company's premises. Good thing I wasn't alone as there were two other guys also waiting for certain people to give us instructions. At that time, I knew I was both nervous and excited. It was after all my first day at work and after more than two decades of studying, I am finally in the workforce.

Through my stay, I learned to both love and hate everything - from the people to the projects.

Initially, I told myself I'd only give myself two years to be in the IT field. After that. I would quit and study full-time. Turns out I would be eating my own words because even though it seemed that I never ran out of complaints, I stood by this company for three years.

Why?

Because even though some say that I could be earning more from another company, compensation doesn't really matter that much to me. As long as I get to save a certain amount and at the same time spend for the things I need and want I am already contented.

Because even though I am assigned to their sister company and we are considered a minority there, I never felt the discrimination the others felt. I was fortunate enough to have become friends with most of them in fact, even the project managers themselves.

Because even though almost everyone I knew the first few years have long resigned, I can still work harmoniously with these new people.

Because even though schedules of projects tend to be unrealistic and unreasonable, I welcomed the challenge of keeping up with the pressure. They never had any attendance problems with me. While most would immediately be on sick leave after a very long overtime work, I would still come in on time the next day (even if I don't get to sleep anymore, just as long as I get to take a bath).

Because even when if I think I am nothing compared to other engineers, people there believed in me. I used to complain every time a new module is being assigned to me because it's usually considered a difficult module. And then I realized that they probably wouldn't assign me something unless they thought I wasn't capable of developing it. I may whine at times, but I always took it upon me to deliver and on time as much as possible.

These are the reasons why. And there are more.

Honestly speaking, there were instances when I really thought I couldn't take it anymore, when I thought I needed to move on. And on the 26th of May, I will be officially saying goodbye to this company.

My sister has been advising me, pushing me even, to go and look for better opportunities. That it's high time I move out of my comfort zone. So around March, I did what many have been urging me to do. I updated my resume and sent it to friends (so they could in turn forward it to their HR). For the first company I tried, I took their exam totally unprepared (no reviews or whatsoever) because what I was after was getting the feel of taking an exam. So on the second company, since I reviewed, I was more confident taking the exam. Only thing was, during the technical interview, I felt like I was being grilled – that the interviewer was really giving me a hard time. (I was literally grimacing right in front of him). On the third company, it was I guess the easiest one of all, just two interviews that I
believe I did well. As for the last company, it was again an interview where right there and then I bluntly turned down (I still wonder if I made the right decision though, I could've been given another chance to go back to Japan).

And although they made a counter offer to me, I stuck by my decision to move forward. That, or maybe it's because the people around me now are proving to be difficult to work with. Or maybe it's because I don't believe in the new management. Or maybe because I am running away from the responsibility they have given me this time. Or maybe I am, plain and simple, getting bored.

Whatever.

Sometime in June then, I'll be like a new kid in this school. Back to square one, back to proving my worth. Only good thing is that I won't be friendless there.

Oh but I'm still praying. Praying that I made the right move.