I knew this wouldn't be a good day for me. Duh! What is a good day for me anyway? I seem to be in a pretty bad mood lately without any good reason. Another thing that is bugging me is my working habits. We (me and my thesismates) have only 14 days to be exact to complete and finish our system. I, on the other hand, haven't been an effective and a good thesis member. I was assigned to work on this part (the neural network) - just the part that could make or break our system and up to this day, I can't come up with a good and working algorithm to run it. I thought that I already had it going after I (with the help of Kenneth - one of my thesismates) was able to finally execute the introductory part of the network. But then, i still haven't been able to make any progress out of it. I feel as if I suck as their thesismate.

Its weird because I know that I want to finish this whole thesis thing already. I am already itching to find a job and earn my own money. I have many other things on my mind that I would like to accomplish as well but my body and half of my mind is not working and would not want to cooperate. How am i supposed to compete with that? What the f*** should I do with myself. I am getting kinda hopeless each day.

Sometimes I feel like all my prayers to Him are useless. I fall on my knees and ask Him to help us out - for us to finish our thesis and for us to pass our defense already so that we could graduate na, but I am not doing my part. It's as if I am too lax pa nga instead of panicking.

How I wish I would know what is wrong with me already. I can't let myself be like this for long.