We have a new set up.

Me and my dad stays here in our old place in Manila, while my mom and my sister are staying at our new place in Novaliches. It's not because my mom and dad are about to be separated (a very impossible scenario). It's just that me and my dad would have a difficult time going to work everyday if we are to stay there. And so, we go there during weekends instead.

I can't say I like the idea.

Last Sunday night, I didn't try to hug my mom and sister when I said goodbye. Just kissed them both and went straight on our way, didn't bother to look at them again and left my dad say bye to them as well. With my back on them, they wouldn't have the chance to see me crying. They wouldn't know how much I'm gonna miss seeing them here. And then, I felt my dad come up behind me. Didn't look at him either. And then I heard him sniff. Oh my gosh, my father was crying. The idea of my dad crying made me cry even more. But I didn't ask him about it, didn't ask if he's ok. I knew what his answers would be.

I know he'll miss mom sleeping beside him, he'll miss her incessant reminders about his meds, he'll miss talking to her about anything. And then, he'll say he'll miss my sister - he'll miss asking her about school, waking her up in the morning, seeing her off to school. 'Cause that's just about what I'll be missing as well and more.

I know we sound like we're so mababaw. As if we're really really miles apart. Then again, our behavior probably wouldn't come as a surprise anymore, especially from me, na nakukuha pang ma-miss yung kapatid ko kahit araw-araw kong nakikita dati. This is why I know I wouldn't last long if I had to leave home. I just can't. (i know sooner or later, i have to do that pero chaka na yun... i don't want to think about it yet).

So far, it's been 2 days since I haven't seen them both. I know my dad's nalulungkot (and I'm sure my mom and sister are as well). I'm the only one acting like it's ok (me and my mask once again) because i think it's what I should do.

How I pray this is but temporary.