reminder

For the nth time, I am reposting this. Not for anybody but for me to server as a reminder. So that whenever I backread, I get to stumble on this and knock some sense to me.


journal entry last August 26, 2001 (12:46pm)

I find myself lost once again. I've let my world be the materialistic world that we are living in, drawn in the happiness that is temporal, brought by the accumulation of material things. I've forgotten once again of Him. I may remember and give a short prayer only when I'm about to embark on something I'm not too sure where it would lead me. After I have safely landed to that place or after I've successfully done what I'm supposed to do, I completely forget Him as well as to say a thank you prayer, assuming that it was I who made that "thing" be possible. I've become engulfed with the problems of other people, giving them more time than Him. I'd think about my problems, the loneliness and emptiness I feel, the wish that I have (which I think will never be granted) hoping that there will be someone to listen to me and understand me. But I keep forgetting the fact that I can always always turn to Him.

Maybe it is time. It's time that I find my way back to Him. Even if it's step by step, slowly but surely. Maybe I've become complacent of the fact that He has always been there for me that I've always taken Him for granted. Maybe I have to reassess my relationship with Him and how am I doing as His child. Maybe I should be more focused on the idea that He would be coming soon and that I would want to be ready to face Him on that day.

I know I might once again get lost while I find my way back to Him but I know He won't leave me. He won't let me go astray totally just like what He did to the lost sheep. I know He loves me and I know He will always. I know He understands me and feels for me. I know He is sad and crying just seeing me like this. I know He is happy at the same time because I realized I am drifting away from Him and I want to do something about it. I know it won't be long when I'll meet Him face to face and live with Him for eternity. I know He knows I am thankful for all the blessings He has continuously showered me. I know He knows I love Him.

With that, I am ready to walk with Him again.