I don't know if I could have preferred it if my parents had reprimanded or got angry with me instead of them being nice and understanding. Yes, our thesis verdict is out. We have to retake our thesis subject next term. Read: we failed. Means another term for us.

I was surprised that I didn't find myself crying soon after our lead panel told us their verdict. It wasn't that I was on the verge of crying or I was trying my best to not let the people see me cry. I didn't feel like crying that time yet. Or maybe it just didn't sink in yet.

It was my sister who I texted and informed first. Next came my dad and then my mom. I couldn't help but say sorry to the three of them. Felt like I've disappointed them. I not only failed myself, I failed them as well. That is what hurts me most. Forget about me, forget about my plans in life. But I can never disregard the pain that I caused to my family. I was all the more saddened when I got the replies from my mom and dad, telling me it's ok and there's nothing that can be done already but to accept it. That got me crying. I couldn't wait to go home so that I could cry my heart out with no one witnessing it. I feel so.. unworthy... I don't think I deserve such parents and such a sister.

But then... I'll be ok. I'll just need some time by myself and then I'll start working on our thesis again.

x's: carrots, thanks thanks so much... you've always been there to just sit beside me, letting your presence be felt and it's more than i could ask from you...
shmuck, here i am dude, thanking you once again. you already know why. i'd say let's keep the faith, we'll go for gold right???